A Fry In My Onion Rings (A Fast Food Poem)

 

Sure, you've found an onion ring in your fries before...but what about a fry in your onion rings? Here's a poem about it.

Tears For Sears

Tears For Sears

Oh Sears, where did you go?

I never thought you'd close.

Your parking lot is now

a place where tall grass grows.

I can still smell your tires

and freshly polished floors

that hit me every time

when I walked through your doors.

Apparel, lawn, and toys;

automotive and tools.

It seemed you couldn't fail!

Ah, weren’t we all such fools?

You were king of retail!

Now you’re a dying brand.

Gone the way of Mervyn’s...

about to get shitcanned.

After K-Mart bought you,

it was easy to see.

Your customers moved on...

well, all except for me.

Oh, I knew years ago

you were about to fold--

your shelves in disarray,

your ceiling stained with mold.

Still, I came to visit...

though things weren’t quite the same.

I’d browse around and buy

a cheap video game.

Now when I’m at the mall,

pulling up in my car,

I pass by where you were

and see your label scar.

Those letters etched in time...

a shadow of the past.

A ghost reminding us

your reign was not to last.

Farewell, my retail friend.

I’ll always miss you, Sears.

I still go to the mall,

but now I leave in tears.

An Onion Ring In My Fries (Shorts Version)

YouTube Shorts version of An Onion Ring In My Fries.

Combination Elation

Combination Elation

It's time to get excited,

'cause Burger King decided

 to make two things united

I know will be delighted!

A bucket of 'rings AND fries!

However did they devise

this combination surprise?

To pair them up is quite wise!

I'm thankful to say the least

for this deep-fried, fusion feast--

a true marvel they've released,

sure to please both man and beast!

 

Tornado Haiku 3

This summer's been hot...

great for tornado outbreaks.

Here's haiku 'bout it.

 

The Round Hound Found At The Pound

This piece, entitled The Round Hound Found At The Pound, is on display at the Stuffington High Art Gallery in New York. It depicts your average round hound that can be found around your local pound; it's meant to astound and it's been crowned as being profound. Prints are available in the gift shop.

 

A Fry In My Onion Rings

A Fry In My Onion Rings

A fry in my onion rings!

Oh, what happiness it brings--

one of those potato strings.

It's a treat that's fit for kings!

Surely it is a treasure

conjured here for my pleasure

via some cosmic measure,

and it couldn't be fresher!

Tell me, who could ever frown

on this yummy, golden brown

maverick from tasty town?

I can't wait to chomp it down!