Leftover Curry (A Short Poem)

A short poem about leftover curry. If your curry turned furry, would you throw it out in a hurry? You probably should.

The Goblin's Den Is Now On Etsy

The Goblin's Den is now on Etsy. Check out my bumper magnets, t-shirts, and more at https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheGoblinsDenStudio.

 

The Goblin's Den Is Now On TikTok

The Goblin's Den is now on TikTok. Check out my short poems there at: The Goblin's Den (@goblinsdenpoems) | TikTok.

 

The Wrong Burrito (Shorts Version)

YouTube Shorts version of The Wrong Burrito.

The Wrong Burrito (A Fast Food Poem)

Ever get the wrong burrito from a taco joint?

The Sad Stoplight

The Sad Stoplight

Look at this stoplight...

just humor me, please.

It seems there’s a face

in the dead LEDs.

Is that a smile I see?

No, I think it’s a frown.

Under one of its eyes

there’s a tear running down.

Why are you sad, stoplight?

Tell us of your pain.

Do you feel alone?

Is your life mundane?

Bobbing on that wire

through the rain and snow.

Cycling through your colors--

that’s all you’ll ever know.

Watching as cars go by,

feeling so bored and stuck.

I guess being a stoplight

would definitely suck.

Now I want to cry, too.

Who would’ve had the notion

that a simple stoplight

could show such emotion?

Mega Man Lemons

As you crab-walk your way through the world, remember that if life gives you lemons, use them as Mega Buster shots...that's what Mega Man would do. Behold the power of citric acid!

Combination Elation (YouTube Short)

 

Burger King now has a bucket of onion rings AND fries? Whoa, mind blown! Here's a poem about it entitled Combination Elation.

A Fry In My Onion Rings (Shorts Version)

YouTube Shorts version of A Fry In My Onion Rings.

A Fry In My Onion Rings (A Fast Food Poem)

 

You've found an onion ring in your fries before...but what about a fry in your onion rings? Here's a poem about it.

Tears For Sears

Tears For Sears

Oh Sears, where did you go?

I never thought you'd close.

Your parking lot is now

a place where tall grass grows.

I can still smell your tires

and freshly polished floors

that hit me every time

when I walked through your doors.

Apparel, lawn, and toys;

automotive and tools.

It seemed you couldn't fail!

Ah, weren’t we all such fools?

You were king of retail!

Now you’re a dying brand.

Gone the way of Mervyn’s...

about to get shitcanned.

After K-Mart bought you,

it was easy to see.

Your customers moved on...

well, all except for me.

Oh, I knew years ago

you were about to fold--

your shelves in disarray,

your ceiling stained with mold.

Still, I came to visit...

though things weren’t quite the same.

I’d browse around and buy

a cheap video game.

Now when I’m at the mall,

pulling up in my car,

I pass by where you were

and see your label scar.

Those letters etched in time...

a shadow of the past.

A ghost reminding us

your reign was not to last.

Farewell, my retail friend.

I’ll always miss you, Sears.

I still go to the mall,

but now I leave in tears.

An Onion Ring In My Fries (Shorts Version)

YouTube Shorts version of An Onion Ring In My Fries.

Combination Elation

Combination Elation

It's time to get excited,

'cause Burger King decided

 to make two things united

I know will be delighted!

A bucket of 'rings AND fries!

However did they devise

this combination surprise?

To pair them up is quite wise!

I'm thankful to say the least

for this deep-fried, fusion feast--

a true marvel they've released,

sure to please both man and beast!

 

Tornado Haiku 3

This summer's been hot...

great for tornado outbreaks.

Here's haiku 'bout it.

 

The Round Hound Found At The Pound

This piece, entitled The Round Hound Found At The Pound, is on display at the Stuffington High Art Gallery in New York. It depicts your average round hound that can be found around your local pound; it's meant to astound and it's been crowned as being profound. Prints are available in the gift shop.

 

A Fry In My Onion Rings

A Fry In My Onion Rings

A fry in my onion rings!

Oh, what happiness it brings--

one of those potato strings.

It's a treat that's fit for kings!

Surely it is a treasure

conjured here for my pleasure

via some cosmic measure,

and it couldn't be fresher!

Tell me, who could ever frown

on this yummy, golden brown

maverick from tasty town?

I can't wait to chomp it down!

 

The Real Four Alien Species Revealed

By now you've heard about the four alien species that have been disclosed in the UFO files. You know, the usual suspects: Greys, Nordics, Reptilians, and Insectoids. What if I told you it was all false? That's right, here are the REAL four alien species that are here on Earth--the ones the governments of the world don't want you to know about!

Ptoobuhr: One-eyed, red weirdos with a single arm on top of their heads. Turns out you don't need opposable thumbs to be a technologically advanced race--one will do just fine. They steal resources from Earth secretly for their own agendas. Brings new meaning to the term "one-armed bandit."

Dreedledorn: Serpentine freaks that communicate via light patterns they flash from their multiple eyes. They're explorers from Forgahgos, an alternate dimension on Mars. Their females are small, yellow, and have the ability to fly. Weird.

Zeaxog: Tiny mischief-makers with big curly ears, likely responsible for goblin and gnome sightings. They enjoy playing cruel pranks and cutting up livestock, the little sickos. They wear tall hats which represent their rank in society.

Mtekarek: Ever have one of those annoying neighbors that won't leave you alone? That's what these guys are. They're tall, jellyfish-like, and fly. They're very friendly and are happy to share their technological advancements, at least.

An Onion Ring In My Fries (A Fast Food Poem)

 

Ever get an onion ring in your fries? Sure, you could've just ordered onion rings, but finding one in your fries is a lucky bonus.

A Pair Of Pears

Here we have a pair of pears. Let's compear them: One looks pearturbed while the other is pearfectly happy.

 

They Were Always The BerenSTAIN Bears

This should settle the argument once and for all. The Mandela Effect is irrelevant...they were always The BerenSTAIN Bears.

Men In Black Up Close

Ever wondered what those Men In Black/Shadow People look like up close? Well, here you go.

Ape-ril

It's the month of Ape-ril. Time to go bananas!

Flushit Turdotax

Tired of those other shitty tax apps that lie and steal your cash? Then try our shitty app: Flushit Turdotax! It's so fast and efficient that you can do your taxes while on the pot. This tax season, use Flushit Turdotax and wipe your taxes off your to-doo list!

Pearallelogram

Pearallelogram: Any geometrical shape with the appearance of a pear. Pearchance it fell from a Geometree?

Norboplotz! For Atari 2600

On this day in 1985, one of the weirdest Atari 2600 gems was released. Entitled "Norboplotz!", it was a quirky chase game where you played as a goblin attempting to yell the titular word into people's windows. One of the first 64k 2600 games, the bulk of the memory was dedicated to the "Norboplotz!" soundbite that the goblin could yell when you pressed the button. The gameplay and graphics were wonky, and most of the sound effects could easily be mistaken for farts, but "Norboplotz!" remains a cult classic of retro gaming. An arcade version was also released.

Time Of The Rabbit

Time Of The Rabbit

Time of the rabbit,

time of the storm.

Time for the weather

now to get warm.

Time of the frog,

time of the flower.

Time for the clocks

to go up an hour.

Time of the bird,

time of the lamb.

Time to paint eggs

and to eat ham.

Time of the bee,

time for their sting.

Time for that pollen

and allergy thing.

Your nose will be clogged,

and yeah, that's a bummer...

but at least soon,

it'll be summer!

Fryday The 13th Revenge

Some more fun with AI slop. He came back for revenge, but he stayed for the fries...can you blame him? Happy Fryday The 13th.

Alien Spookaloo

Just an alien doing the spooky stuff an alien does.

 

Doughnation

Q: When someone gives you free bread dough, what do you say?

A: Thanks for the dough-nation. I'm sure I'll be knead-ing it!

When it comes to bread jokes, I always rise to the occasion.

Fryday The 13th: Jason Goes To Del...Taco

Sounds like a decent sequel to me.

Corn On The Macabre

Corn On The Macabre

Do you like movies that make you sick?

Then I recommend this new horror flick.

It's kind of corny, but I think you'll find

that it'll be engrained in your mind.

It's about killer corn that's stalking this girl.

By the end I'm sure it'll make you hurl.

There's buckets of blood, gratuitous gore,

and nudity, too. Need I say more?

Oh, and one scene is so utterly vile,

you won't eat popcorn for quite a while.

So get tickets now, and be a part of the mob

that's the first to see Corn On The Macabre.

 

Early 2000s Wrong Turn

POV: It's the early 2000s and you took a wrong turn on the 'net.

Velocicraptor

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with diarrhea?

A: A velocicraptor. 😆

New Wendy's Tendies: A Fast Food Review Poem

New Wendy's Tendies: A Fast Food Review Poem

Wendys has tendies!

They claim that they're new,

but they've had them before -

so that isn't true.

I'm calling them out

on their marketing lie...

but despite the false hype,

I gave them a try.

Alas, as I thought,

they're exactly the same...

and overpriced, too -

so that's double lame.

For fast food chicken,

they're average fare.

Too greasy and bland,

no spice and no flair.

To put it simply,

not the best that I've had.

I'd rather have Zaxby's,

but they're not too bad.

 

Bigfoot Haiku 2

Bigfoot is out there.

Where is the big guy hiding?

Maybe your backyard.

 

It's...Aliens

Whenever something weird is afoot, it's...aliens. Someone tell those guys to stop being so spooky.