Fun With Puns

Fun with puns! Can you figure them all out? Answers below.

A. Giraft     

B. Dirigibull

C. BalLoon  

D. Piethon

E. Seefood

F. Reese's Monkey

G. Chilly Pepper

Fryday Haiku: Culvers

Look what just opened:

Culver's! My new choice grease pit!

Crunchy onion rings!

Culver's has burgers

fried stuff, and ice cream to boot.

Watch out, Dairy Queen!

Their chicken's not bad

and their fries are average.

Otter's is better.

Damn, Culver's is slammed...

is it really that good or

just because it's new?

They have seafood, too...

and it's actually fresh!

Captain D's, you're fired.

A couple of fryday haiku for you, on account of a new Culver's opening up in my area...right across from a Dairy Queen. Oh snap, it's on!

K9-17 Bullpup Assault Rifle

K9-17 "The Big Dawg" Bullpup Rifle

Y'all need serious firepower? Then take a gander at the new .45 caliber K9-17 Bullpup Assault Rifle, known in these parts as the "Big Dawg." Squirrels givin' you a ruff time? This hoss will splatter them critters good. Hogzilla eatin' all yer cabbage? It'll kill that dead too, I tell you what. And of course it's 100% made in 'Murica, baby! Yeehaw! Now you've got a dawg in this fight!

Now available at Curbela's, yer friendly neighborhood death dispensary!

Haiku Review: Pretzel Chicken Fries

Pretzel chicken fries:

Burger King's new greasy trap!

9 piece for 3 bucks.

I'm a bit at odds...

pretzel as chicken breading?

Weird, but I'll try it.

Salty and crispy.

The pretzel taste is masked since

it's been fried to hell.

When I got mine, it

wasn't really a 9 piece...

more like tons of crumbs.

Thick pretzel coating.

Slinky chicken cuts, but good.

Not bad, Burger King.

Poison Scone

Poison Scone (aka Sconed To Death)

A thought occurred to me when I was alone,

that I could cook a poison scone

 and feed it to someone I hate.

Hey, wouldn't that be great?

I could take them out in one fell swoop;

they wouldn't have a chance to poop

before they puked out all their guts...

but now you probably think I'm nuts.

Before you label me insane,

just run it through your puny brain...

how good it would be to smite a foe

with just a frosted ball of dough!

Cyanide is all it would take...

mix it in and then you bake.

And when it's done you can serve it with tea,

and laugh to yourself maniacally!

Then after your victim starts to gag,

you can stuff them in a body bag

and roll them down a steep ravine

so they won't be heard or seen!

It's not such a bad way to go

if you think about it, you know?

To choke upon a deadly treat...

revenge has never been so sweet!

The Sound Of French Fries 5

The fryer's warmed up...

are you ready for some more

deep fried haiku poems?

This is the 5th video in my "The Sound Of French Fries" video series, featuring narrated haiku poems about fast food set to relaxing zen music. No fast food joint is safe, the gauntlet is off!

Fryasaurs

I tried Popeye's fries.

They're peppery like Checkers.

Greasy, but still good.

Popeye's chicken: yum!

Chickens descend from T-Rex.

A spicy revenge!