Crappy Valentine's Day!

Crappy Valentine's Day! Let's all stuff our faces with chalky candy hearts and stale chocolate. Shut up, you know you love it.

Fryday The 13th

That's right, it's Fryday The 13th. What are your favorite kind of french fries? Here's my preferred top 10…

1. Checkers
2. Chick-Fil-A
3. Zaxby's
4. McDonald's
5. Krystal (Waffle Fries)
6. KFC
7. Shane's Rib Shack
8. Wendy's
9. Steak & Shake
10. Arby's

It's Fryday!

It's Fryday, so here you go…have some french fries! Thirteen fries: one for each day. Put your machete-wielding skills to good use and cut yourself some potatoes (hockey mask recommended but not required).

Nuggets Of Wisdom

Every time a bell rings, an angry customer gets their hot wings.

What rolls under the fridge, stays under the fridge.

Keep an open mind, but not so open that you let reptilian aliens from the Draconis star system gain control of your lower chakras to force the world into a conga line of evil.

A rolling chicken nugget gathers no sauce.

Burger King: Have it your way...except for the "no onion" you asked for on the burger–and maybe a few other things you have to go back in for.

The only thing we have to fear is getting our blood sucked dry by carrot aliens; they harvest mankind to make intergalactic smoothies.

Never reheat today what you can forget about in the fridge to stink up the place tomorrow. #nastyoldpasta

Shot Glass Test Run

Shot glasses turned out pretty good. I actually haven't bought any of them until recently (I first put them on my CafePress site a couple of years ago). I wish they were glass and I could do a full-bleed image on them, but not bad. Check out my full selection of shot glass designs at CafePress!

Happy New Ear!

Happy New Ear! It's that time again when we reflect about past events and choose new ears…but why settle on the same boring set? Why not upgrade to snazzy vampire ears to impress your friends who watch those pretentious fantasy shows? You could even go with hippo ears if you want something happy and flappy! What's your new ear's resolution?

WARNING: Some ears may not be compatible with all humanoid nerve and brain patterns. Check with your local ear doctor.

UFO Thoughts 8: Specter Of An Inspector

Have you ever seen the specter of an inspector? The one I saw was named Thomas Ridgeborrow; he soaked his feet in acid because he was tired of being called a gumshoe.

Sunday called, margaritas are free!

Worm-like earpiece, don't ask why.

If you want to wax impervious, I say buy a new metrical.

It runs tomorrow, just hit me with a fruitcake!

Don't listen to them, all you need to fix your washing machine is a bicycle pump and an electric eel.

The impact of luggage–how I love the sound!

If you shout the word "gingerbread" during a full moon, the nearest pencil will spin around and warp to another dimension.

Comet Burger has awesome french fries, too bad they only exist in my mind.

…chocolate window pane. Hand me the screwdriver, please.

Whenever I see a briefcase I want to paint a smile on it.

I came here to throw it…over the fence, I think.