Friday, December 8, 2017

Holiday Horror Cinema

This week's feature presentations at Holiday Horror Cinema:

Poultrygeist 2: The Turkeying

Something in this house has gone afowl! Thanksgiving seemed the perfect time for Chuck Cluckington and his family to break in their new rural home, but there's more to the property than meets the eye. After encountering flying utensils and disembodied bird noises, the family discovers their humble abode was built upon the remnants of a turkey farm–where thousands of turkeys were slaughtered for Thanksgiving! The feathered phantoms have converged into one malevolent entity–a poultrygeist! Can the family find a way to put the avian entity to rest?

It Came From The Cranberry Swamp

From the critically acclaimed director of "Vampire Elves" and "The Mayhem Steamroller" comes a new foray into holiday horror! When a shipment of cranberry sauce gets derailed into a swamp, it fuses with the fetid waters and becomes a sentient, gelatinous creature. As it slides through the city swallowing everything in its path, authorities struggle to subdue the mass. One scientist may hold the key as he studies the leftover cranberry sauce from a previous shipment by the same company that caused the spill...

Deviled Eggs

While on a mission to a distant planet, hungry explorers discover a cache of mysterious eggs and fry them up out of desperation; they savor the unique taste and decide to share them with Earth. However, a volatile proton storm strikes on the way back home and the crew finds it has an electrifying effect on the odd ovums: they begin hatching into devilish, toothed horrors–ravenous for flesh! A brutal game of hide-and-seek begins as the crew are devoured one by one. WARNING: The end may not be what you'd eggspect! One thing's for sure, this won't be going over easy!

Friday, November 24, 2017

Black Friday Haiku

Thanksgiving? What's that?
Who needs turkey when you can
shop 'til your feet bleed?

Here's a few haiku to ponder over as you plow through the stinking hordes on Black Friday. May the sales be ever in your favor.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Friday, November 10, 2017

Rhymania: Observation In Alien Head Rotation

No need for elation...
this is just an observation,
a simple inspiration:
alien head rotation!

Spinning heads in space:
each with a warping face–
a different humanoid race.
Now are you keeping pace?

Don't let it hurt your head...
it'll bug you 'til you're dead
if you think into what I've said–
or study the words you read.


Saturday, November 4, 2017

The Mystery Carcass

Another collage preview from More Lullabies For Goblins...

The Mystery Carcass

It washed up on the shore
a couple of days ago...
but exactly what it is,
nobody seems to know.

It won't fit on any scale,
'cause it's bigger than a whale–
and no pulley, crane, or winch
can budge the thing an inch.

Some scientists arrive
wearing shiny coats;
they snap a ton of pictures
and write a bunch of notes.

They use their instruments
to poke and prod its skin,
and peel away the fat
to collect the guts within.

One of them exclaims,
"It must be an Architeuthis!"
"Nonsense!" says another,
"It's a Megalodon, you doofus!"

Before the seagulls eat it,
they collect every piece they can
and stuff it into a freezer
in the back of their van.

As they haul its body away,
not much is left for the flies...
except for a greasy puddle
and a couple of eyes.

Thursday, October 26, 2017


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