Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Prepear Yourself: A Pair Of Pears!


A sensational new art exhibit is on display at the Pretentia art museum! Entitled Prepear Yourself, it features an array of paintings and sculptures created by internationally-renowned French artist, FrOoT. It's a spectacular display of high art inspired by dreams of a Pearallel universe.

Our own journalist, Natah Vejtible, sat down with FrOoT for an interview:

Natah: Thanks for being here today! I think the question on everyone's mind is, "Why pears?"

FrOoT: Of course. I had a dream one night about a pearallel universe where everything revolved around pears...so I got up and just started creating, you know?

Natah: What was the first work you created for this exhibit?

FrOoT:  My first work was A Pair Of Pears, a male and female pear made out of pear resin. I think it speaks volumes about the human condition–about how we're really all like fruit. We desperately claw for a meaningful relationship before we shrivel up and turn brown in the sun. Yet some of us just fall to the ground alone and get eaten by birds.

Natah: Uh, ok...I guess that makes sense. "Prepear Yourself" has currently been on a world tour display in 24 cities now! Did you expect to receive such a positive response for this exhibit?

FrOoT: I didn't, actually...but I'm very pleased with how people pearceive it! ;)

Natah: Haha, I see what you did there. Do you have a favorite sculpture or painting?

FrOoT: I think Pear Of Pants speaks to me the most. It's a commentary on the social and political status of the world today. Everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time; we're all squishy and vulnerable to the forces of nature.

Natah: I think I get it, yeah. Well, thank you for your time!

FrOoT: You're welcome, it's been a pearleasure.

"Prepear Yourself" will be on display at the Pretentia museum in Atlanta, GA until April 24. It features 42 different works of art, a mini roller coaster, and a surprise pearamilitary ambush at the end. It's an exhibit beyond compear!

*Here's just a few of the many works on display:

• A Pair Of Pears (pear resin sculpture)                                    
• Pearadox (pear paste on canvas)                                      
• Peariodontitis (crayon on construction paper)
• Pearachute (pear resin sculpture, suspended by wire)
• Pearanoid (pear paste on canvas)
• Sepearate (macaroni on sandstone)
• Pear Of Pants (gastric acid on graham cracker)
• The Pearrot (pear chunks and glue or something)

*See promotional pamphlet for full list

Friday, March 17, 2017

The Sound Of French Fries 4


Fast food haiku time:
The Sound Of French Fries, part 4.
Drop in a fresh batch!

The 4th video in my "The Sound Of French Fries" video series, featuring narrated haiku poems about fast food. Mostly based on real-world experiences.

Monday, February 27, 2017

Friday, February 24, 2017

The Sandwich Under My Couch


There's a sandwich under my couch,
it's been there for a week.
The bread is turning green
and it's starting to reek.

I only took one bite
and decided that was enough...
so I slid it under my couch
with all my other stuff.

The stench intensifies
with each passing day,
but somehow I keep forgetting
to throw that sandwich away.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual sandwiches under couches is purely coincidental.

Monday, February 20, 2017

Valentine's Day Haiku


Valentine's haiku:
not really that romantic.
Cupid is stupid.

Another haiku video, this time about everyone's favorite corporate-created love holiday. Chintzy teddy bears, expensive chocolate strawberries, and chalky hearts–that's what it's all about. But don't let that stop you from gettin' it on.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Leftover Curry


In the fridge was some leftover curry;
it was so old it was furry.
But there's no need to worry,
'cause I threw it out in a hurry!

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Zombie Zen 2 (Zombie Haiku)


Zombie Zen - Part 2!
More zombie poetry for
your juicy brain lobes!

The second video in my "Zombie Zen" series, featuring haiku about those shuffling brain-munchers.