Friday, February 24, 2017

The Sandwich Under My Couch


There's a sandwich under my couch,
it's been there for a week.
The bread is turning green
and it's starting to reek.

I only took one bite
and decided that was enough...
so I slid it under my couch
with all my other stuff.

The stench intensifies
with each passing day,
but somehow I keep forgetting
to throw that sandwich away.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual sandwiches under couches is purely coincidental.

Monday, February 20, 2017

Valentine's Day Haiku


Valentine's haiku:
not really that romantic.
Cupid is stupid.

Another haiku video, this time about everyone's favorite corporate-created love holiday. Chintzy teddy bears, expensive chocolate strawberries, and chalky hearts–that's what it's all about. But don't let that stop you from gettin' it on.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Leftover Curry


In the fridge was some leftover curry;
it was so old it was furry.
But there's no need to worry,
'cause I threw it out in a hurry!

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Zombie Zen 2 (Zombie Haiku)


Zombie Zen - Part 2!
More zombie poetry for
your juicy brain lobes!

The second video in my "Zombie Zen" series, featuring haiku about those shuffling brain-munchers.

Friday, January 20, 2017

Hair-ku: The Zen Of Balding 3


Time for more haiku:
The Zen Of Balding - part 3!
Listen up, chrome domes!

This is the third video in my "The Zen Of Balding" series, featuring narrated haiku poems about the follicly-challenged.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

UFO Thoughts: Hardcover Version


UFO Thoughts is now available in hardcover format for $24.99 (and also paperback for $11.99, of course). Check it out here.

Friday, January 13, 2017

FryDay The 13th: Scariest Fast Food Restaurants


FryDay the 13th:
thinking about french fries and
hockey-masked killers.

Here's my Top 5 list for Scariest Fast Food Restaurants:

1. KFC: They always get my order wrong; I think the employees are zombies.
2. Hardee's: Extremely slow, always understaffed.
3. Bojangles': Phantom menu items / overall just deserted and spooky.
4. Krystal: If you can find one it's probably filthy inside.
5. Dairy Queen: Undead franchise. How are they still alive?