Monday, June 26, 2017

Show Of Hands

Show Of Hands is a handy, digit-al database commissioned by scholars across the galaxy in an exhaustive quest to catalogue every type of grasping appendage in the universe. Organisms need to manipulate their surroundings–especially if they are to create tools and master space travel, and it's a safe bet they'll need opposable thumbs to do it.

From frisky frog fingers to wily webbed whatsits, Show Of Hands will let you know exactly what type of freak was knocking on your window or pattin' around under your bedroom door at 3 AM. 

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Cactus Haiku

Yes, cactus haiku...
a batch of prickly poems for
your viewing pleasure.

Just a few cactus-themed zen poems. Visit my official YouTube channel for even more humorous haiku.

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Saturday, June 3, 2017

Friday, June 2, 2017



I found some special tea,
it came from a shady place.
The guy I got it from was green–
maybe from outer space.

So when I took it home,
I brewed it in the pot...
it gave off a funky smell
and started to smoke a lot.

After I let it cool,
I bravely had a taste.
It was good, I drank it all–
gulped it down with haste.

But now I'm feeling weird,
I think I drank too much.
I'm seeing peculiar things...
checkered patterns and such.

Everything is purple,
the walls are turning wavy.
Flying snakes appear,
my legs–they feel like gravy!

The ceiling's caving in,
chairs are walking around.
I feel like I'm gonna fall,
but which way is the ground?

I think I'll stay in tonight–
I shouldn't be on the road.
So I'll just chill on the couch
and talk to this 3-eyed toad.