Friday, December 30, 2016


"I always speak my mind, because the world is too full of liars and secrets." ~ Anonymoose

Sunday, December 25, 2016

The Sound Of French Fries: Christmas Edition

It's Christmas haiku
with a greasy fast food twist!
Have Tums, will travel.

A special holiday edition of my "The Sound Of French Fries" haiku video series. Merry Crustmas, and seasoning's greetings from ol' Chris Crinkle Fries himself!

Monday, December 19, 2016

The Sound Of French Fries 3

Hold onto your guts,
it's The Sound Of French Fries 3!
Anyone need Tums?

This is the 3rd video of my "The Sound Of French Fries" series, featuring narrated haiku poems about fast food. Don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel, people!

Friday, December 9, 2016

UFO Thoughts: Now Available

My 3rd book, UFO Thoughts, is now available at in paperback format for $11.99. It's 200 pages of utter nonsense that'll blow your brain valves! Think of it as illustrated Mad Libs, except without the lib...and with 10 times the MAD! Check it out here.

Ever had a random phrase pop into your head that didn't make any sense? That's a UFO Thought, and this book is full of 'em! Perhaps these nonsensical ramblings are a manifestation of the subconscious mind, or maybe they mean nothing at be the judge! Don't look for a complex story or deep slam poetry here. Seriously, this book makes no sense! After all, "Aren't we all just good citizens?"

Here's what the critics have to say...

"UFO Thoughts is a triumph of epileptic proportions!"
- Brain E. Nonsensington, Hemorrhage Weekly

"It helps keep the Xoba Worms out of my head."
- Aiem Stu Pid, The Conspiracy Critic

"I like pie. Where's my sandals?!"
- Jib Urish, Babbler Magazine

WARNING: This book is rated R for Ridiculous. Content recommended for nutcases and space weirdos only. Not suitable for robots without paradox logic dampeners. The Goblin's Den and affiliates shall not be held responsible for busted head veins or blown circuits of any kind.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

New Shot Glasses - Dec. 2016

New shot glasses are available at my CafePress store. Guzzle your dizzy juice with these experi-MENTAL designs and more, found here.

• Let's Get Smashed
• Eye See You
• All Your Face Are Belong To Us
• Got Weird?
• Happy Curl Death Swirl
• Hello Jello

And as always, check out my full CafePress store at:

Note: If you ever buy something from my store, make sure to do so directly from the URLs shown above. Not only will I earn more $ per item, but my mark-ups are usually much cheaper than CafePress marketplace prices (in short, you pay less and I get more).

Friday, December 2, 2016

Hair-ku: The Zen Of Balding 2

Need a haiku fix?
Here's the next video of
The Zen Of Balding!

This is the second video of my "The Zen Of Balding" series, featuring haiku for the follicly-challenged.