Fat Pie / Ill Will Press

Just figured I'd take some time to promote one of my favorite comedy websites: Fat-Pie.com. There you can find lots of different hilarious videos by David Firth, most famous for his Salad Fingers, Burnt Face Man, Spoilsbury Toast Boy, and Drillbit Head series. I've found his stuff to be quite funny in a random and insane sort of way. Even though many of these shorts feature simplistic animation, the content can be rather explicit and dark...so you've been warned.

Also, check out Ill Will Press.com for more hilarious videos by Jonathan Ian Mathers. You may have seen his work featuring Foamy The Squirrel before (officially called "Neurotically Yours"), so here's his official website. He also does still comics and a couple of other funny projects. Check 'em out.

The Sandwich Under My Bed

I once went to someone's house and found a plate with a half-eaten sandwich under their bed. Were they too lazy to throw it out for some reason? Wouldn't it stink up the place eventually? Whatever...here's a poem about it.

The Sandwich Under My Bed

There's a sandwich under my bed--
it's been there for a week.
The bread is turning green,
and it's starting to reek.

I had taken just one bite,
and decided it was enough...
so I slid it under my bed
with all my other stuff.

The smell intensifies
with each passing day,
but somehow I keep forgetting
to throw that sandwich away.

The Wrong Burrito

The following short poem is based on a true story. A friend of mine was once given the wrong type of burrito with his to-go order at a fast food restaurant. He got all the way home before he found out, so he threw it against the wall in anger...where it remained for several minutes before sliding off.

The Wrong Burrito

They gave me the wrong burrito
at the Taco Shack.
I found out when I got home,
so I didn't take it back.

I tried to throw it in the trash
but my aiming was askew--
so now it's sliding down the wall,
leaving a trail of goo.