Black Friday Haiku

Thanksgiving? What's that?

Who needs turkey when you can

shop 'til your feet bleed?

Here's a few haiku to ponder over as you plow through the stinking hordes on Black Friday. May the sales be ever in your favor.

Grey Meat Jedi

A few decades ago, in a fast food restaurant not far from here...

Another Toy Yoda In My Toyota

#empirestrikesbackseatdriver

Rhymania: Observation In Alien Head Rotation

No need for elation...

this is just an observation,

a simple inspiration:

alien head rotation!

Spinning heads in space:

each with a warping face–

a different humanoid race.

Now are you keeping pace?

Don't let it hurt your head...

it'll bug you 'til you're dead

if you think into what I've said–

or study the words you read.

YOUR BRAIN IS MADE OF BREAD!

The Mystery Carcass

Another collage preview from More Lullabies For Goblins...

The Mystery Carcass

It washed up on the shore

a couple of days ago...

but exactly what it is,

nobody seems to know.

It won't fit on any scale,

'cause it's bigger than a whale–

and no pulley, crane, or winch

can budge the thing an inch.

Some scientists arrive

wearing shiny coats;

they snap a ton of pictures

and write a bunch of notes.

They use their instruments

to poke and prod its skin,

and peel away the fat

to collect the guts within.

One of them exclaims,

"It must be an Architeuthis!"

"Nonsense!" says another,

"It's a Megalodon, you doofus!"

Before the seagulls eat it,

they collect every piece they can

and stuff it into a freezer

in the back of their van.

As they haul its body away,

not much is left for the flies...

except for a greasy puddle

and a couple of eyes.