Valentine's Day Haiku

Valentine's haiku:

not really that romantic.

Cupid is stupid.

Another haiku video, this time about everyone's favorite corporate-created love holiday. Chintzy teddy bears, expensive chocolate strawberries, and chalky hearts–that's what it's all about. But don't let that stop you from gettin' it on.

Leftover Curry

In the fridge was some leftover curry;

it was so old it was furry.

But there's no need to worry,

'cause I threw it out in a hurry!

Zombie Zen 2 (Zombie Haiku)

Zombie Zen - Part 2!

More zombie poetry for

your juicy brain lobes!

The second video in my "Zombie Zen" series, featuring haiku about those shuffling brain-munchers.

Hair-ku: The Zen Of Balding 3

Time for more haiku:

The Zen Of Balding - part 3!

Listen up, chrome domes!

This is the third video in my "The Zen Of Balding" series, featuring narrated haiku poems about the follicly-challenged.

UFO Thoughts: Hardcover Version

UFO Thoughts is now available in hardcover format for $24.99 (and also paperback for $11.99, of course). Check it out here.

FryDay The 13th: Scariest Fast Food Restaurants

FryDay the 13th:

thinking about french fries and

hockey-masked killers.

Here's my Top 5 list for Scariest Fast Food Restaurants:

1. KFC: They always get my order wrong; I think the employees are zombies.

2. Hardee's: Extremely slow, always understaffed.

3. Bojangles': Phantom menu items / overall just deserted and spooky.

4. Krystal: If you can find one it's probably filthy inside.

5. Dairy Queen: Undead franchise. How are they still alive?

UFO Thoughts: This Planet Is A Salad

This planet is a salad best devoured!

And so, I screamed into the night, "Distilled meatloaf!"

...the day when the nagging pots arrive.

The moon has a bath toy, this time I'm sure of it!

Give this mom a cookie-dookie!

...the drugs were yellow.

A lampshade discount, but only for us travelers.

Did someone order this mannequin head? I tell ya, it just hasn't been my day.

A flying nose for certain, and the tentacles are often there too.

I'd say thank you for your fingertips!

Glad stars, I'll have you know! I witness them fading...slowly.

Wrong pen! Particles of freedom...but not here.

...dragon eel has spikes on it. Rooster time!

Anything's a wedding.

You are now a liquid; say goodbye to buffalos!

Just so you know, your football utensils will be confiscated.