Saturday, July 11, 2015

Multi-Mouth Shark

Science has discovered a new, ultra-rare species of shark. Dubbed the Multi-Mouth, its distinguishing feature is that it has multiple jaws extending out of its main pie-hole. Experts are baffled as to why it needs this many sets of teeth, but they aren't too surprised. "Sure, why not?" says Karen Reefhugger, a marine biologist from the University Of Florida. "We know of other weird-ass sharks like the Helicoprion that had a buzz-saw for its lower jaw, and the Stethacanthus that had an ironing board for a dorsal fin. Sure, those are extinct...but just look at other modern day sharks like the hammerhead, megamouth, and frill shark! I wouldn't be surprised if a species showed up with a torpedo launcher on its back, honestly."

The Multi-Mouth prefers to feed on another rare species of shark–the Cyclopsian Troll Fish. Cyclopsians are prevalent in the deep ocean worldwide, albeit in small numbers (their lack of depth-perception makes them easy prey for predators). Alas, the Multi-Mouth may soon go extinct because of its picky eating habits...unless they evolve legs and move onto land, in which case politely guide them to the nearest Captain D's.

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