The Apocalyptic World of Dumpster Donuts

Is this a TV show or a line of Madball-like toys? I don't know...you decide.

You'll find us in the trash

at the end of every day,

being chewed on by the rats...

slowing rotting away.

We are the forgotten,

the lost and tortured souls!

We are the discarded

dumpster donut holes!

Carted away in trucks

to a landfill unknown.

Together lumped in piles,

but somehow still alone.

And as the fire burns,

a bulldozer arrives.

Now we're being buried–

screaming for our lives!

Back at the bakery,

each day it happens again.

For an hour we are fresh,

then we're tossed into the can!

Oh, woe is our poor dough!

A twisted fate untold

for the munchkins that remain 

eternally unsold.

Transpearent

Are you prepeared for more puns?

Little Derpie's Discount Donuts

Hey, penny-pinchers! Stop blowing cash at that fancy-pants donuttery in the big city! Why pay $3 a donut when you can get a whole dozen for $1? That's right, Little Derpie™ brand discount donuts are disturbingly cheap and available at a dollar store near you!

So what if they're past expiration and have a few crushed lightbulbs mixed in? Little Derpie™ donuts are the greatest barely edible treats you'll ever consume! Saving money is the best flavor of all!

Little Derpie's donuts–

at your local dollar store!

They're made from mostly sawdust

and junk we scraped off the floor.

Our logo is a girl scout

so you'll blindly trust our word

when we say our food's the best

and doesn't taste like a turd.

You'll smile at the fact

that you saved a lot of cash,

while your stomach is bleeding

and you break out in a rash.

Our products are poorly wrapped,

stale and hard as a rock.

Some people say they'd rather

chew on a dirty sock.

But being thrifty is smart

as everybody knows!

So eat our crappy donuts,

or...just toss 'em to the crows.

Blob Fish Meme

I don't always post memes...but when I do, I put blob fish in them.

Donut Haiku 3

Love me some donuts!

Here's more zen poems about them.

Eat up and enjoy.

This is the 3rd video in my "Donut Haiku" series, featuring narrated zen poems about donuts with relaxing background music.