The Sound Of French Fries: Christmas Edition 5

Ah, the holidays.

You know what that means, folks...

more fast food haiku!

Black Friday Haiku 4

Black Friday haiku:

ready to shop yourself nuts?

Let the deals begin!

Of Turkey & Farts: A Thanksgiving Poem

 

Of Turkey & Farts

After Thanksgiving dinner,

folks are as stuffed as can be.

And then they go out shopping,

 a time bomb if you ask me.

Because when they start to move,

it stirs up what’s in their guts.

Then soon, you know what happens...

they pass gas out of their butts.

You’d think they’d have the manners

to hold it in for a while.

But no, they just let it rip

and reek up an entire aisle.

Then they quickly waddle off,

hoping others take the blame.

Ugh, the stench of rotten eggs...

the odor’s always the same!

If you must fart in public,

please clench your sphincter and think.

Be polite and go outside

to release your sulfur stink.

The Sound Of French Fries: Halloween Edition 3

Halloween candy?

Nah, I'd rather have french fries.

Here's some more haiku.

Extraterrestrial Most Bestest

You've tried the Little Caesars Extra Most Bestest Pizza, now try the Extraterrestrial Most Bestest. If you thought the Extra Most Bestest Pizza's piles of pepperoni were an amalgam of anomalous meat before, wait until you try it when there's a whole universe of fauna flesh to feast from. It'll send your cholesterol levels into orbit!

Fryday The 13th: Krystal Lake

Fryday The 13th: Krystal Lake

Legend has it, many years ago a Krystal restaurant met its doom on Fryday The 13th. It was 50¢ Krystal day, and due to the massive amount of customers (and a crumbling, pothole-filled parking lot), a sinkhole opened up and swallowed everything in the vicinity. The resulting crater was dubbed "Krystal Lake". Now, on the anniversary on the tragedy, phantom fast food rises from the greasy waters to seek revenge.

COVID-19 Haiku 4

 

COVID-19 Haiku 4

the vaccine is here

but COVID keeps mutating

will this ever end?

Microban sold out

vitamin C prices hiked

screw this pandemic

stay six feet apart

that's not far enough, I say

can I move to Mars?

everywhere I go

I drench my hands in Purell

these are crazy times

buffet restaurants

COVID-19 fear killed them

goodbye, Stevi B's

Walmart entrance has

a Germ-X wipes dispenser

always empty, though

gas station bathroom

I'm sure there's COVID in there

avoid at all costs

everyone says to

practice social distancing

but Taco Mac's slammed

Pearallel Universe Theory

Pearallel Universe Theory: A belief that stems from the idea that parallel universes exist populated with sentient pears. Nonsense? Perhaps, but you have to keep an open rind.

Doggos Everywhere

There's doggos everywhere. Just don't boop the snoot.

Inuit Turbotax

How do Eskimos do their taxes? They use Inuit Turbotax.

No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service

Philosoraptor has a point there.

The News Of The Day

Here's your news for the day.

An Onion Ring In My Fries

An Onion Ring In My Fries

What's that I see with my eyes?

An onion ring in my fries!

A hidden, tasty surprise

that nobody can despise!

A delicious stowaway

here to brighten up my day.

This onion ring, who can say

how it wound up so astray?

Although I haven't a hunch

how this rebel of the bunch

found its way into my lunch,

I welcome its crispy crunch!

Robotussin

If robots used cough syrup, what would it be called? Robotussin, of course.

Chicken Nuggs

 

Chicken Nuggs

I don't fit in with jocks 'cause I can't catch a ball.

I don't fit in with nerds 'cause I don't LARP at all.

I don't fit in with goths 'cause I won't take their drugs.

So I'll sit here alone and eat some chicken nuggs.

Alien Clones In Different Tones

Alien clones in different tones: a mission of color transition.