Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Bacon Scimitar!

Behold, the mystical Bacon Scimitar™! Forged by master sword smiths in Porkistan, the Bacon Scimitar is the only battle-ready blade made with Baconite–a composite grilled from the finest steel and…that's right, BACON! To ensure success, each Bacon Scimitar is fused with 1000 tortured pig souls–ritually slaughtered during the smelting process. If you find your enemies too plentiful, summon an army of flesh-hungry demonic pigs into the fray!

Each Bacon Scimitar comes with a certificate of authenticity and enchanted sheath to keep the blade's bloodlust in check between decapitations. Vanquish your foes with the power of bacon; order your very own Bacon Scimitar today! Victory has never tasted so good!

DISCLAIMER: The makers of Bacon Scimitar shall not be held responsible for potentially undesirable paranormal activity associated with its presence, such as: Constant smell of cooked bacon, disembodied snarling sounds, livestock possession, blood dripping from walls, electrical phenomena, insect plagues, and materialization of dimensional portals.

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