Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Larva Lamp!

Hippies unite! It's the official Larva Lamp! Available for the first time to Earthlings, it's THE original psychedelic light source! Bask in the trippy glow of the Neptunian Ice Beetle as it squirms in its cryotube. Marvel as it morphs through every grotesque larval stage–eventually emerging as an unstoppable minion of chaos! Incubation takes a few Earth years, so sit back and enjoy the groovy colors until then (LSD not included).

Neptunian Ice Beetles are ferocious but loyal. Feed it a steady diet of Earth rats twice a day and it'll become a fierce friend to be reckoned with! Upon reaching adulthood, it'll need at least a 10 mile radius to roam around in and a few cows a day for sustenance…but that's your problem, so we don't care. All hail Blorktahr, overlord of superior products! End transmission!

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