Morning ritual:
pop my zits in the mirror,
dab with alcohol.
Humongous back zit.
Found its center and pinched hard!
My shirt is wet now.
Thin strips of yellow
worm their way out of my pores
when I squeeze my chin.
The older the zit,
the more yellow the contents.
If it's gold, it's old.
Don't pop zits in space
because in zero gravity
it floats all around.
Nope, those aren't freckles–
it's a legion of blackheads.
Not so cute now, huh?
You are what you eat.
So if you love pizza, your
face turns into one.
Zitty teenager:
just one forehead wipe would be
enough to cook with.
Got acne problems?
Take a Proactiv shower.
It has granules! Yay!
To hide the grossness,
girls with acne use makeup...
but lumps still show through.
Inner ear pimple:
hard to reach and hurts like hell!
Need a barbed Q-Tip.
For backne outbreaks,
try using a back scratcher.
Wash it afterwards.
Whitehead on my nose!
It must've formed overnight.
A firm pinch will do.
I use my zit grease to cook with as well; I save hundreds of $ a year on vegetable oil as a result. Conversely, I also use my earwax to make candles!
ReplyDeletei thouds i had pimpl but turned out 2 b a cyst so i hads to go 2 doctor 2 get lancd now its back again yay
ReplyDelete