Sunday, February 7, 2016

Zit Zen (aka Simple Pimple Poems)


















Giant forehead zit.
And did I mention that it's
yearbook photo day?

Sure, my nose looks clean...
but closer in the mirror
a field of blackheads.

I ate at Hardee's,
and just ten minutes later
zits form on my back.

To pop your pimples,
use a sterilized needle.
Yeah, right. Who does that?

Pesky earlobe zit.
I keep squeezing and squeezing.
Endless grease geyser!

It's uncanny, but
that's not the surface of Mars–
it's my face up close.

Thick amber nugget
rolls out of the zit I popped.
Smells like McDonald's.

So many blackheads!
Squeezing them all is futile...
just makes my face red.

Popped my nostril zit.
It made a greasy SNAP! noise
and squirted five feet.

Hey there, crater face...
stop picking at those pimples.
Heard of Proactiv?

Might as well call it:
I'm a total pizza face.
High-school life ruined.

Old crusty blackhead
long overdue to be milked:
watch it whizzle out!

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